Newsletter 18/02/21 - Can we still listen ?

Hello beautiful!

I hope you are keeping well and healthy. It has felt pretty heavy and challenging lately, right? I noticed that this third lockdown is way more challenging on a lot of us and I wanted to start by reassuring you: it isn't just you!

Through conversations with loved ones, colleagues, students, I realise how relationships are suffering from what we're going through. We are all still very much deep down into that testing experience and it is often hard to have a clear overview of our own state as well as the people's surrounding us.
Loneliness has probably felt more intense this time around and there are many other factors putting strains on the ways we interact with one another. That sense of isolation inevitably induces a stronger need of being cared of, loved and looked after. But because we are most likely all working hard at keeping it all together, we might be less available for others. We can also start a vicious cycle of adding resentment on the top of our need for attention and affection from people. Haven't you felt lately like your friend didn't call you often enough? Someone close to you took forever to reply to your text, or didn't show you enough attention? We are also in such a need to vent and verbalise our own experience, it is becoming harder to listen.

Add to the mix the fact that we don't all have the same views on the current crisis, not the same fears, not the same history, not the same expectations, nor the same reactions... it is consequently very easy to come across as sharp or judgmental or, at the very least, lacking of understanding and empathy. When it comes to health, life and death, freedom, it of course triggers strong feelings and it becomes harder to accept or simply hear different opinions. I feel though that it is so very important to practise and encourage active listening, patience and kindness in every conversation we take part. As much as we all feel strongly that a path is the right one, it might not be the unique one, and not the one that will suits everyone.

The truth also is that we are facing a very new, unexpected and unpredictable situation, so there is absolutely no way of knowing wether our way of thinking is the right one. In an era where nothing has ever felt so uncertain, where we've never had to face such social distancing, it is vital to keep our hearts close to one another. I am saying that coming from a place where I've felt and experienced all of the above. I have found challenging to engage, to communicate, to listen and to even maintain a positive atmosphere sometimes even with my closest people. As much as I love to be right and convince my folks when I believe something to be true, I don't know what the truth is, what the future holds, none of us does. We shall all keep an open mind.

There are two things that I'm trying to take away from this reflection on the current situation:

- As much as the fatigue feels so very real, present and possibly intense, it is paramount to keep looking after one another and to take those few minutes to write the text we haven't found the will to type that will brighten up someone's day.

- Compassion has never been more needed than these days. We can never really know what someone's facing or has been through so, no matter how passionate we feel about a topic, there should always always be space for listening, conversation, peaceful debate and, moreover, acceptance that you might not change someone's opinion or feelings. As much as it is a collective experience as a society, this is also a very personal and individual process. Let's always be kind and loving.

As always, I find yoga is and remains a shelter, my go-to safe space for reflection, a way to come out of my comfort zone when it comes to thinking, to questioning my behaviour, and to simply finding a less agitated way of being. My yoga these days isn't dominantly movement based, but it is very much there in some of its many other forms! Check out that article that I enjoyed reading How To Make the Yamas and Niyamas Work for You in the Modern World ! See you on the mat!

Much love,