Newsletter 04/04/21 - Working through discomfort

Bonjour Dear you!

I hope you well and that you are enjoying the long weekend! Greeted by a glorious weather today!

April already! My son turned 7 last month. Weirdly it feels like a big milestone. I keep thinking that we actually don’t have that much time left before he makes his own choices, becomes more and more independent and the truth is, like most parents I’m sure, it really scares me. I really feel a sense of duty to bring a caring human being into this world. My son has never been mine to keep. Life brought us together and made me his mum but he doesn’t belong to me, to us. We’re going through a bit of challenging patch, his personality getting stronger by the day. And I make conscious choices every day as to how I handle and react to this. And, if I am honest, it can get really uncomfortable and makes me question a lot of things. It is quite mind blowing to see how we inherit some family dynamic patterns and how it can be either empowering or scary. Have you ever heard or said "I'll never do like my mum/dad"?! I’m sure we all try and keep the best from our own experiences and get rid of the bad stuff as much as possible.

So how can we work through discomfort and face the uncomfortable ?

We do that a lot in yoga. In the physical practice, we put ourselves in sometimes really weird shapes and poses with a sense of competition with ourselves. I’ve often been annoyed when teachers say « let go of the ego » 50 times during a class. I never fully understood this as, by essence, we work on achieving certain poses and movements driven by our ego. And I don’t necessarily think it is a bad thing. It’s all about finding that balance and very fine line between experiencing a bit of a challenge and recognising actual pain that we should avoid and step away from. 

It’s about recognising the lines that can be moved and those that should stay because they are healthy boundaries. 

Discomfort is defined as "something that disturbs or deprives of ease". I’m sure you’ve heard from yoga teachers, myself included, how you should take the time to observe wether something feels a bit challenging or really off and not suited to you. That is the very essence of physical activities but even more relevant in a mindful practice like yoga. We work on mastering that skill of being able to identify what feels wrong and what is good for us.
Does it feel uneasy because it's new to you and requires some time to adjust or is it causing you actual pain? It can be hard to tell the difference, right? Especially whilst practising something generally associated with wellbeing. You don't necessarily think you can hurt yourself doing yoga. Yet, injuries happen all the time!

And because this is part of the āsana practice, it seems natural to then work through discomfort on an intellectual and spiritual level as well. Feeling uneasy can be a daily occurence in general and there are more and more uncomfortable questions, topics, and voices arising on racism, sexism, abuse, inclusivity, tolerance, politics, that challenge us more than ever. Some people get really uncomfortable when yoga teachers choose to be vocal on things that matter to them. This practice has wrongly been thought for a long time to be synonym of peace, tranquillity, quiet when yoga is actually very much political by essence and challenges every single thought, every single action, every single behaviour. It can also help us identify what feels wrong and what seems good for us. It is also an amazing portal for those of us who were not born with a strong religious background or faith. And like on the physical level, it helps identifying the thought patterns we can change or improve and the core ethos that define us and are meant to stay our landmarks and foundation.

We were discussing with a colleague this week: how much is it our place to bring up political or trendy burning topics as yoga teachers? Why do we accept it from some and not from others? Or does it have something to do with us feeling uneasy and disagreeing with what they voice? We also tend to project our own expectations on teachers, public figures or people we look up to. Which makes it harder when they challenge us on our own convictions... But finding flexibility is as much of a mental exercise than it is physical.

Life, illness, motherhood, this year, they have all taken me so far out of my comfort zone. But I am forever grateful for finding yoga as a spiritual practice to get me through these challenges. Helping me looking at things through a different lens. I hope my boy will also find it to be such a precious and reliable tool. And I hope you do too. There is nothing quite like coming on the other side of discomfort, knowing there was a lesson to be learned to grow, to be more caring and more open-minded. I'm working hard on finding more mental flexibility to ride that uneasy wave. Let's work on that together!

Sending you love,

See you on the mat!